"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you..." Psalm 32:8

Friday, July 8, 2011

Week 4: I Think My Heart May Burst...


"I have heard it said that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body." ~Captivating

I have learned how true the above quote is (even though I don't have any of my OWN kids...). Week 4 was a super crazy week having 1st and 2nd graders. Our group was a wild bunch, but the kids were so excited and they were all so much fun! I seriously think I am in my element when I work with 1st and 2nd graders. My heart swells with love for them its ridiculous...This week I had 8 kids in my small group. Rylee, Sydnee, Dustin, Zion, Night, Kailey, Poppy and Sara. All these kids were so difficult to part with because they were just so amazing. My little girl Rylee came up to me today and told me that she accepted Jesus into her heart this week. I couldn't contain my joy! I had to settle myself down...I kept thinking to myself, "Jess. This was not your doing. It was God who opened this little girl's heart. But by showing her love all week, Christ used me to plant something." I wanted to be sure that I wasn't praising myself just because she was in my group. She is such an amazing little girl and I already see the love of the LORD working in her life.

This week I've had to face having kids in all the grades who may come from broken homes. Tonight is hard. These kids are leaving and some of them may be going to broken homes. I literally feel my heart ache for these kids who may not get the same love and attention back at home. I am so thankful for my job and that I got to love on these kids for a whole week. But walking to the coffee shop tonight, I felt heavy hearted. If I am aching for these kids how much more is Christ aching for me when I go through difficult times in my life? These kids aren't even mine and yet the love I have for them is so strong...I would die for them. Just like Christ died for me even before I knew him.

God...is this how you feel when you see broken hearts? Is this how you feel when you know someone is unloved? Is this how you feel when you see abuse, neglect and loneliness inflicted on one of your children?

I think I've gotten more hugs from the week 4 kids than any other group. I even held a little first grader who gave me a huge kiss on my cheek earlier this week. I will never forget those little gestures of love...these kids don't know this, but they are healing my broken heart each and every week. Old wounds are being patched up with each word of affirmation or loving hug.

"Kricket, your my favorite counselor."
"Kricket, I'm going to miss you!"
"Kricket, I asked Jesus into my heart."
"KRICKEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!" *followed by huge group hug*

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