Anticipation

My biggest Christmas present this year were airline tickets to Mt. Hermon for New Years. My parents are so awesome. I love how they support me in my passion for this ministry. I'm going up to celebrate New Years with people that I absolutely adore. It will be bittersweet because I will miss my family and friends here, but I will get to catch up and hang out with my Day Camp staff. I'm pretty sure crazy times will ensue. Imagine a bunch of people who have the same amount of energy as I do put together. Its gonna be good.

I also can't wait to take walks around the Redwoods. Its so serene up there and perhaps while walking around in the quiet, God will speak something to me. Needless to say, I cannot wait to return to the place that touched my heart and my eternity forever. I cannot wait to hug and laugh with all my friends.

Its coming up fast! I fly to San Jose on Friday!!! BRING IT! :)

Return

I know its a long way from summer. But I cannot get my mind off of Mt. Hermon. There are so many things reminding me about it. Its crazy. Now, don't think that I am not 100% here at PLNU or think that I am not content being here. I am very happy at the moment cruising through school and finishing the things that God has assigned me with here. I've been investing a lot of my time in my school work and the hard work has been worth my while. I've been content where God has me at the moment.

After the end of the day, my heart longs to serve. That is the whole essence of me. I was created to serve. I've been thinking about my kids a lot. Wondering if they even took anything out of last summer. Wondering if the kids who needed extra love are safe. I'm sure they are. We have an amazing Father. I send a short prayer there way whenever they come into my head.

Its funny how much the last summer really changed my life. I have become so much more confident in my capabilities and gifts that God has blessed me with. Its really helped me get through the challenges I have faced here at Point Loma this year. I have had to make the decision of whether or not I will return to Mt. Hermon for the summer of 2012.

Well, I can happily say that the pros far out way the cons. I have decided to put my future plans in Christ's hands. I trust that He will take my plans and make everything work out. In the mean time, this servant needs to love. God has given me this gift. I need and want to use it to further His kingdom....even if it means 17 units for the rest of college. Hey, if I can do what I did last summer, I can definitely pull through school with God's strength. He never fails to give us strength. I'm pretty sure that He has given me this desire to return for a reason. I am determined to go back to Mt. Hermon, put my 'Kricket' name tag back on and love recklessly. I want to be open to what God has for me.

His work will never cease until He returns. I want to love kids because Christ has so greatly loved me.

Mt. Hermon 2012. Kricket is coming back with full armor of God on and a heart full of love.

"We must go live to feed the hungry/Stand beside the broken/We must go/Stepping forward keep us from just singing/Move us into action/We must go."

Life After the Herm

I know its only been a couple of days since I left Mount Hermon, but I've already seen a major difference in my life. I am fully confident that God used me this summer and that He was also preparing my heart for what was to come for this next year. I've been hit with some heavy news since being home. At first, I was scared, confused and frustrated. Why does the world like to hit you so hard after you've just had an amazing summer serving God, seeing Him work and falling in love with Him harder than the first time? This world we live in is not fair. Its broken and its wandered away from the God that gives life and gives it freely and generously. This entry is not meant to vent on how awful and scary this situation is. Instead, I have a full confidence and a weird little faith that I cannot explain in God. I have faith that everything is going to be ok and He is going to take care of it. I was sitting with my friend and told her, "Jesus says that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed that we can move mountains. This is just another mountain that we will cross over together." Its gonna be a hard year for her, but I reassured her that I will be there to walk beside her and when I can't do anything, I know that Christ will hold her up and carry her.

This is an entry about hope. The hope we have in our Savior. That He is in control. That His work doesn't stop and continues on beyond Mount Hermon. That He has built me up more and placed a new confidence in me. That I can come to Him with any request and He promises to listen and answer. Our God is a God who is very mighty to save. He's gonna pull through in this one. I can just feel it.

If there's anything I've learned this summer, its that when we allow God to take hold of our lives and reign within us, He does wonderful things. When we allow Him to take the reigns, it is then that we see the full majesty and wonders of Christ. And what great love He has for us.

Take heart, brothers and sisters....He has overcome the world.

Why I Work at Camp

The End: Blessed...What More Can I Say?

I am currently lounging in a fluffy, soft, clean queen sized bed at a hotel in Avila Beach. The parentals picked me up today and decided to sweep me away to a cute luxurious hotel by the beach. Amazing? Yes. Even though I am sick, the unexpected surprise hotel room is so wonderful. I decided to soak my cares away with a nice bubble bath complete with candles, relaxing music and a coke. Pure Bliss.

The final days up at Mount Hermon were nothing short of amazing. Although I hated to end on a sick note...(I missed work the last Tuesday and Wednesday morning session). I had a horrible cold and then I think I got a 12 hour bug where I was throwing up until the wee hours of the morning. I know....cute, right? Anyways, Chinese family camp had to be the hardest thing ever. Night session was super long. About 5 hours per night with the kids to be exact. Melt downs, tantrums and the water works. But hey...it was a crazy fun adventure. We got to work with Amp's older brother, Rooster, Boonis' older sister Coca-Cola and Cosby and Chewy from Redwood. It was great having new people with us, but I missed Rolo, Whinny, Toaster, Frogger, Hooligan and Avalanche...It was like missing a chunk of our family.

The last couple of days literally consisted of us going crazy. Heidi shot me in the butt with an airsoft gun followed by Rafiki falling to the floor in laughter while he also got shot in the leg, Mowgli and I ran and hid in the skit closet where we thought we'd be safe, but Chewy decides to move a chair in front of the closet and sits on it...we couldn't get out for probably 10 minutes. It was great. The next day my staff thought it would be funny to try to stuff me in our kitchen freezer. I was hesitant at first, but then I was all for it....I didn't fit.

Good-byes today were tough. I've literally spent every waking moment with these people. Its hard to believe that we are parting ways. I am so thankful for these new and wonderful friends I have in my life. At the same time, I didn't take it as a good-bye...its more like a 'see you later' kind of deal. I am currently having a hard time processing this summer still...so much has happened in such a short amount of time. The life lessons I have pulled out of this summer will last me for a lifetime. I've learned what it means to be a servant of God. To offer your body up as a living sacrifice. To step out of your comfort zone. To love recklessly even when kids get difficult. I've experienced Jesus in a whole new way this summer and I've seen the Holy Spirit move through the lives of my campers and staff.

As of now...I'm gonna rest. I can't believe its done. I will be back someday though. I have a feeling Jesus is going to call me up there again....

I'll write more later...Night ya'll!

Week 9: Let Him Live Through You

I am currently lounging on a chair that is nestled in a little corner on the porch of Toaster's house. Her porch overlooks the mountains. Redwood trees as far as the eye can see. Its stunning. I am going into my last few days up here at Mt. Hermon. I am here till the 17th for Chinese Family Camp Week. Looking back on this last week of regular family camp is bittersweet. I faced many challenges with myself this week. I was tired. Just drained. With my good friend Avalanche gone and Hooligan soon to leave on the coming Friday, I wondered how this week was going to go.

The first day of camp was ok. I was exhausted trying to put a smile on for the kids during boats. I even kissed a banana slug along the trails to get my kids excited for the week...don't ask me why I thought that that would get them pumped...but ya know...it does work for the kids. After program, I was walking over to the Dining Hall for lunch when out of no where, I felt extremely sick. I pretty much sprinted back to my room where I thought I was going to throw up. It was so weird since I rarely ever get sick. The rest of the day was fine, but I was still plagued with fatigue.

A couple of days later, I had to do memory verse for the kids. It lasts for about 10 minutes so that the people in Bible Study Skit can get ready. As I was sitting in the back waiting to go on, I prayed. I needed to. I literally no longer had the strength to go on. I came to Jesus kneeling face down at His thrown begging Him to give me strength. I realized I didn't have to beg because our God is a generous God and is willing to bless His children when they are in need. Especially when they are trying to further His kingdom. The rest of the week I felt God move in my heart and speak through me at Bible Studies. I was in awe at the words coming out of my mouth. They were sure definitely not mine. At all. I was learning from the things coming out of my own mouth. As the Holy Spirit was talking through me, I observed my girls. I could tell God was stirring things up in their innocent hearts. One of my girls was moved to tears...which moved me to tears. The words of God are just so beautiful at times that you just can't help but cry in awe to the Mighty God.

When you pray a prayer for strength and go humbly to the thrown of God, you can be sure that He will answer and help you. You just got to let him live through you.

Week 8: Restless and Bitter-Sweet-Ness

Week 8 was a week I will surely remember for the rest of my life. Sadly, I took no pictures of my 1st and 2nd graders this week...I'm bummed, but I was just so busy, I just forgot on Friday. However, I feel that this week was not only about the kids, but about my staff. We had some wonderful bonding time this week. Its hard to believe how much time we finely found to spend together. I'll start with Girls' Appreciation night.

We held a boys appreciation night a week prior. It was filled with nachos, root beer floats, candy, smang jugs (inside joke), affirmation, airsofting the girl counselors, back massages and the A*Team at Rafiki's house. It was a wonderful night. The boys threw us one too that I will surely remember forever. We had celebration rotation theme. There were 4 stations: Spike and Hooligan mixed us drinks (complete with them only wearing aprons, pants and funny chef hats...it was hilarious.), Boonis, Amp and Ollie did our nails and gave us back rubs at the next station (the nails weren't salon style...but its the thought that counts and I LOVED). Frogger and Rafiki "read our palms" while giving us hand massages and finally Breck and Avalanche sang us love songs. The night continued on at Rafiki's house where the boys actually made us dessert. Then they took us outside under the stars where each guy chose one girl to write a letter too and to affirm them. It was the sweetest thing that anyone has ever done for me. We then danced the night away under the stars. My dear friend Avalanche affirmed me and wrote me the sweetest letter I've ever received from a guy friend. And I mean that full heartedly. His letter moved me to tears. It seriously meant the world to me.
The next night was staffirmation night/Ollie's 20th birthday where as a group, we gathered at Joe and Heidi's house. It was a night filled with love and appreciation for everyone.

And yesterday was probably the hardest/funnest day ever up here. The night prior we did a day camp sleepover where we all watched Zoolander at day camp and fell asleep. The next day I got up and did the Redwood Canopy tour with Christian, her family and Rachel (my roomie). We then ate a wonderful brunch at Caf Brazil. Once I got back, I made yummy cream puffs with Toaster and Avalanche, went shopping with them, Rolo and Mowgli, then got ready for staff banquet where the theme was Cubano at Mt. Hermono. There was dancing, food and wonderful memories of the summer. At 10:45 we headed up to Rafiki's house to watch Braveheart. Yeah...I know....crazy since it was a 3 hour movie....it ended at 2:15. It was so funny seeing how into it Amp and some of the other boys were. It was worth it.

Waking up this morning was bittersweet. I had the best breakfast at Toaster's house, but it was the final good-bye to Avalanche. Out of all the guy counselors here, I felt the closest to him. Saying good-bye was super hard and I don't know if or when I'll ever see him again...he had been a huge encouragement to me this whole summer and his passion for the LORD I will never forget. I miss him dearly already.

To sum up this week, I'd say it was a restless week because we were up late all week. God has been moving still amidst the hours of the night. Late nights, fun talks and quality time. Week 8 was a blast. Yet so bittersweet.

Week 7: Why I'm Here

At the beginning of the summer...I couldn't really find out why I've been called up here. I mean, sure, I felt the Spirit's calling and had that weird desire that I couldn't explain inside my heart, but I really had no exact reason WHY He was calling me up to Mount Hermon. To serve, yes...but why? For who? I learned that this week.

Week 7 brought some challenges. Her name being (I'll just use a fake name) 'Squirt'. This little 'Squirt' was only going into third grade, but she was a handful. I realized this the first night when the little squirt held onto my leg all through lawn chants, climbed on top of my back and constantly had her hands on my face. The first thing I thought of her, "Oh God...why did you put her in MY group. I don't want to have a psycho child." Squirt would be singing and having fun on lawn chants and then the next minute she would stomp off to the back behind everyone else. A frown on her face and her arms crossed. I would go and check on her and she would constantly complain, "I'm too tired...and my arm hurts. No wait! My leg hurts. NO WAIT! Its really my hand." I would roll my eyes and urge her to join the other kids who were standing in their lines. Throughout the week, she would squirm in Bible Study. Cling all over the other counselors. The tiniest third grade girl with the personality fit for a diva. She would bring up death a lot in prayer requests. It was strange. Then I realized that she had just lost someone she loved. She talked about life at home. Her parents were divorced. She didn't miss being at home. My heart went out to this little girl. Throughout the course of the week, I felt a strange connection with her. I couldn't explain it, but I knew it was the Holy Spirit drawing me to this little hyper active child. She craved attention probably because she didn't get much of it at home. I knew that when she would act up it would be because she was either tired or had something on her mind. I would talk her out of it and encourage her. The last night was at camp fire and she was off by herself. I went up to her and asked her what was wrong. "My stomach hurts really bad!" she cried. I knew it didn't. She over reacts at times. I had her come sit in my lap while a man on his guitar played 'Come Thou Fount'. She looked around during campfire. "Mom forgot about me!" she would say. I had to reassure her that she didn't and that we had everything under control. Squirt is a funny girl...it was kind of gross when she would fart in my lap, look up at me with a huge toothless grin and say, "HAHAHA KRICKET! I just farted in your lap..." I did some fake laughing, "Yaaa you sure did!". When campfire was over I stood holding her looking around for her parents. They weren't there. "I told you they forgot!" She was obviously terribly upset. My boss and I headed up with her to Day Camp to call her folks when her mom came down the hill, "Hey Squirt! Look I went to the fountain and got you food!" Not telling her this before going to Day Camp. Knowing the parents were supposed to pick up there kids...and it was already 9:30. The last time I saw her, she stomped away with her mom in tow asking 'What's wrong?'.

I know why I'm here. Kids like Squirt...like Dustin...like a lot of other children. Coming from broken homes...coming from places where they feel like no one listens or knows they exist. They come to a safe place like Day Camp to have fun for a week. I have always felt like I had a lot of love to offer....I felt like a lot of people didn't respond to it. People of my past. My heart carries a lot of burdens. Doubt, fear and brokenness. God responded. He knew that my heart would be perfect for this job. He also knew I had a lot of love to give. So He called me here. Where the love I pour out is accepted. Is encouraged. Is reciprocated. I give love and God gives it right back through the little kids I interact with. He sees and knows my heart. He calls me beautiful. He wanted to use it. He WANTED to use it....let that sink in. I am wanted by the creator of the heavens and the earth. He doesn't need me. He WANTS me.

I have fallen in love with God even more this summer. Being a camp counselor was my calling. He knew I'd be perfect for these kids. I am so blessed. So humbled....and so in awe of the majesty and great wonders of this King that I serve. My heart is overflowing. I want it to be contagious.

Week 6: Jesus is Legit

A simple title...yet how many people can say it? I had the time of my life last week working with the wonderful 5th and 6th grade. The beautiful Whinny and I were the girl counselors for the week and the boys in our group consisted of Avalanche, Amp, Spike and Breck...I think we had a total of 34 boys and only 18 girls. My girls were amazing. Period. They were all so full of energy and they made me feel so loved. The one thing about 5th and 6th is that you have amazing Bible Studies...the first day was probably the best bible study I have had all summer. I didn't even have to ask my girls what they were most looking forward to about camp...they immediately said, "Kricket...I want to learn more about Jesus. I am looking forward to learning something new." Talk about pressure, but I was so humbled by these girls and eager to do the best I could with the Spirit's guidance. One of my girls was from Romania and she was one of the coolest kids ever. And then there was Mikayla who was literally attached at my hip all week. She was the sweetest and I saw so much growth in her this last week. She went from a shy girl who didn't believe in herself to a confident girl who shined within our group. The sweetest thing she told me was that I was her mommy for the week. (I'm a teen mom, guys :P haha). The greatest thing I did with my girls was the ropes course and going to the fountain with them where I bought them ice cream. It was a ton of fun hanging out with them. I know that my girls learned a ton about Jesus this last week. I love how the Holy Spirit works in the lives of the kids and as me as well. It meant a lot to me when Sydney announced during auditorium (where we sing day camp songs/lawn chants to the parents and tell them what we've been doing all week) that her favorite thing about Day Camp was me. It meant a lot to me. Parting with them was hard...Mikayla started crying and all I could do was hug her and tell her how proud I was of her this last week and that she had grown SO much. I really hope I can make it back next summer...

I'm really gonna miss these girls. They lit up my life. And I saw Jesus work in them more than any other group I have had this summer. Jesus is legit.

Week 5: Rollercoasters, Cinnamon Rolls and French Soap?

So you may wanna know why I chose this funny name for my blog. Now, I didn't actually go on any rollercoasters this week (although I am stoked to ride the Big/Giant? Dipper on the Santa Cruz Boardwalk), but emotionally I went through some tremendous rollercoasters this week. Wednesday and Thursday were the hardest days for me up here at camp. I was emotionally drained and felt like I was going to break down at any point. I felt like this week my heart was just distant and wasn't connecting with anyone or anything. The good thing was that I felt God's presence in my moments of loneliness, but I was just so TIRED and WORN that I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be there for my kids, but I wasn't feeling it (although my small group was FANTASTIC!)...especially dealing with this week of kids who were wanderers...this means that the kids do their own thing...like wander off in the middle of the street and counselors chasing after them so we can corral them back to Day Camp. Not to mention I am losing my voice...there's nothing sexier than a raspy camp voice. Yes, I just said that. Anyways, I was so happy I was blessed with yet another wonderful well behaved group of 1st/2nd graders. But with all the other kids, I felt like I failed miserably in the discipline area. I had some of my team leaders reassure me and talk with me which made me feel a whole lot better...So, Sassy and Spike...thank you very much!

Out of this week, I signed more "Favorite Counselor" spots than any other week...which was odd yet cool to me. I am glad that the kids still liked me even though I was beating myself up on the inside.

Anywho...about those Cinnamon Rolls and the French soap...I just had the most amazing adventure with my roommate! My roomie Rachel decided to cut 12 inches of hair off today and donate it to cancer patients. I went with her for some moral support and afterwards we ended up at a place called, "Kelly's French Bakery" where we chatted over mochas and delectable cinnamon rolls/bagels. It was so good to catch up with one another on life since we've both been so busy! After that we decided to check out this little French Soap shop right next door since Rachel had a new swing in her step since she got a cute A-line hair cut. The shop was run by this cute little old black man named Prince. He was so charming that we ended up staying and chatting with him for a while. He had a friend there too who is a photographer and was telling us stories about how he jumps in the ocean to take pictures of sharks! Prince was telling us about how he is a jazz singer and travels all over the world to sing. His adventures were so cool, but when he's not traveling the world, he runs the little soap shop. A family walked in later with 2 college aged boys and Prince tried to set Rachel and I up with them. It was a hilarious conversation...but one boy ended up giving us his email instead! Prince was nice enough to give us a 2 free soap hearts and a CD of his jazz music. We both walked away totally blessed by the people at that little soap shop! Rachel and I were talking about how we both live for moments like that and how much we love people! We will be going back to visit Prince and eating more cinnamon rolls for sure! We plan on buying something from his shop next time as a token of our gratitude. Little does he know how much I felt blessed to meet him after such a difficult week on the job!

In conclusion...God is sooooo good. Rachel and I both felt like it was God's doing with that conversation. He's a romantic. He knows our hearts so well and we both felt like it was God who blessed us on this day. After all...He knows how much we love people...and French Soap! ;]

Week 4: I Think My Heart May Burst...

"I have heard it said that having a child is like having your heart walk around outside of your body." ~Captivating

I have learned how true the above quote is (even though I don't have any of my OWN kids...). Week 4 was a super crazy week having 1st and 2nd graders. Our group was a wild bunch, but the kids were so excited and they were all so much fun! I seriously think I am in my element when I work with 1st and 2nd graders. My heart swells with love for them its ridiculous...This week I had 8 kids in my small group. Rylee, Sydnee, Dustin, Zion, Night, Kailey, Poppy and Sara. All these kids were so difficult to part with because they were just so amazing. My little girl Rylee came up to me today and told me that she accepted Jesus into her heart this week. I couldn't contain my joy! I had to settle myself down...I kept thinking to myself, "Jess. This was not your doing. It was God who opened this little girl's heart. But by showing her love all week, Christ used me to plant something." I wanted to be sure that I wasn't praising myself just because she was in my group. She is such an amazing little girl and I already see the love of the LORD working in her life.

This week I've had to face having kids in all the grades who may come from broken homes. Tonight is hard. These kids are leaving and some of them may be going to broken homes. I literally feel my heart ache for these kids who may not get the same love and attention back at home. I am so thankful for my job and that I got to love on these kids for a whole week. But walking to the coffee shop tonight, I felt heavy hearted. If I am aching for these kids how much more is Christ aching for me when I go through difficult times in my life? These kids aren't even mine and yet the love I have for them is so strong...I would die for them. Just like Christ died for me even before I knew him.

God...is this how you feel when you see broken hearts? Is this how you feel when you know someone is unloved? Is this how you feel when you see abuse, neglect and loneliness inflicted on one of your children?

I think I've gotten more hugs from the week 4 kids than any other group. I even held a little first grader who gave me a huge kiss on my cheek earlier this week. I will never forget those little gestures of love...these kids don't know this, but they are healing my broken heart each and every week. Old wounds are being patched up with each word of affirmation or loving hug.

"Kricket, your my favorite counselor."
"Kricket, I'm going to miss you!"
"Kricket, I asked Jesus into my heart."
"KRICKEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!" *followed by huge group hug*

Red, White and the Blues

Happy Fourth of July from Mt. Hermon, fellow bloggers! I can personally say with much pride that the 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays. With Family BBQ's, pool parties, watermelon, the magnificent colors of fireworks that light up the night sky and lots of laughs with friends. Now I know my title of this blog sounds kind of depressing, but I can't help but be a little sad that I am not with my wonderful family and friends on this day. This is the first fourth of July that I am not home and I already miss the fun festivities that befall on the little town of Mission Viejo on this wonderful day. I am not going to be walking up to the park up the hill from my house to watch the fireworks while laughing with my friends as we marvel at all the colors of the night sky. I will not be having cannon ball contests with all my guests. I will not be having wonderful BBQ while snickering at my friends who have it all over their faces. Its been tough. And yesterday as I was thinking about how I will be missing, it a sign fell on my face and arm resulting in a goose egg on my arm and some pain in my sinuses. The cherry on top of a dessert cake of blues. Bitter yet sweet.

On a lighter note, I have 1st and 2nd grade again this week and they are adorable as always. My group of kids are well behaved and love to chat with me which is wonderful since it takes my mind off the fact that I am not at home. If anything, seeing the kids and hearing their laughter on this holiday really sends my spirit soaring. I have realized that being a camp counselor is a huge blessing and I have impacted my kids for Christ by loving them. I was just thinking today how I cannot wait to be a mother of my own little ones someday. But that's not till way.........way....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY...in the future! C'mon, guys! A girl's gotta have fun while she can, right? ;]

I encourage you to have a patriotic Monday. Eat a bunch of hot dogs. And thank God for this wonderful country that we live in! Because sometimes, I feel we take advantage of what a great country it actually is! America the Beautiful indeed!

Love That Shines Like JEMS

JEMS week is here up at the Herm and I have had my fair share of difficulties...not only is it challenging with a bunch of children here at Day Camp (we have 200 kids and got 5 extra counselors helping out from Redwood camp), but I've been struggling emotionally too. Day in and day out, I have been exerting energy. I am actually surprising myself a lot of the time.

This week I have 5th and 6th grade girls. I cannot even begin to explain how much joy and encouragement they have been to me this whole week. I've been tired, lonely and honestly...I began to really miss my friends. Some of them came to visit me on Tuesday and when they left, they took a piece of my heart with them. Yesterday was super hard because it was Creach Day...and it was FREEZING. If you know me and how I handle cold weather, you know that its like watching a cat in a rain storm...miserable. However, later that day I took my girls to the fountain to eat a giant mudslide. I was going to pay for it all, but one of my girl's moms paid for it. I was so blessed by that. I was willing to pay for it, but she went ahead and did it. I had so much fun hanging out with them that my bad attitude turned into thanksgiving and joy as I ate a bunch of ice cream with my cheerful small group.

God has been teaching me a lot about patience recently too. I've been praying for two weeks straight for something, but I feel like God isn't hearing my prayer or is saying no. I don't want to give up on my prayer though. I've learned patience through one of my girls this week. I had a jr. higher in my group earlier this week because during JEMS week there is no youth program. She was bummed that she couldn't go into the jr. high camp. I tried to make her feel welcome and to let her know that I understand and want to be there for her as she was with younger girls. On boat day (Monday) she actually had so much fun. That night, she didn't show up because I found out that she made it into the jr. high camp. She left a letter for me saying that she believed God had wanted to test her patience and that once she was accepting where God had placed her, He ended up blessing her. It was awesome to learn that from someone much younger than me.

Lately I've also been rereading the book called Captivating. It's basically a book about finding out what being a woman looks like...the way God intended her to be and why we as women have the desires that we have. Reading this book has been a huge deal for me lately. Being up here, I've felt my insecurities come out. I so desperately long to be wanted...to be seen as beautiful for everything that I am. My heart longs to be romanced. I long to be romanced by my Savior. The book explains that the question that most women have is this: Am I lovely? Do you see me? Do you want to see me? Are you captivated by what you find in me? That's what I've been struggling with lately. I want to be wanted. I love feeling like someone cares and needs me...but most importantly WANTS me. I think finding out that God doesn't need me but WANTS me...is a way better visual. I long to make a difference in the lives of others. To show them how wonderfully and fearfully made they are. To know that the God is the lover of the soul who constantly pursues.

I long to find out what that will truly look like one day when I reunite with him in heaven. I long to find out what that will mean when I marry someday. Only God can satisfy that deep longing of being known from the inside out. He gets me. He considers me beautiful and flawless. He sees me for who I am. He sees me in the darkest moments and considers me beautiful. I fell asleep reading this book one afternoon with a sudden peace that was overwhelming. I woke up feeling beautiful and for a young woman, thats a rare feeling. I felt like God was right there when I awoke. Admiring me for my soul.

"All beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you." Song of Solomon 4:7...I literally felt that in the depths of my heart.


JEMS week shines with Love. God is good.

Heart's Song

What words can I say about my God?
No human words can ever express my souls great longing for the touch of my God!

By day, my eyes wander for just a glimpse of my God.
I witness Him when I see Love.
I witness Him when I see water flow.
Just as the water moves and gives life to a forest,
so is the Holy Spirit of God who is a balm to my broken soul
And sings freedom in my veins.

How many times have I doubted, disobeyed and sin against the Holy God of All?
Yet He pursues my heart like a jealous lover. He aches to hear my voice rise up in prayer.
He delights in me when I come to spend time with Him.
His anger inflames when He sees the evil one whisper to me lies about my life.
He comforts me when my flesh thinks that those lies are true.
He sends His only son to take my place on the cross.
The Son gave up his life willingly for my sake, so that I might not have eternal separation from the Mighty One who gives me true life.

I find joy and peace whenever YAHWEH is amongst a sinner like me. How beautiful and sweet is my Savior's love for me!

My soul rejoices when I live for Christ. My true Happiness is in my God's Will.

Dear Beloved....I ache for you to see what my God can do! How much He loves! And how jealous He is for you! The LORD is good and is a safe refuge to all who call upon His Holy Name.

See the God of the universe! Jesus Christ is in your midst! Each and every day, receive His blessings and answer His call!

Selah....Amen.

Week 2: The Joy of the Lord is My Strength

Welp....week 2: DONE. I can't believe how fast it went by. I can finally take a deep breath and rest on Saturday. This week was a challenge in itself. It was hard getting excited for this week because by the time week one was over, I was already SO exhausted. Funny right? Its only been 2 weeks of camp! Don't worry, I made it!

This week had many ups and downs. I had a ton of fun with my campers, had my own small group, had a blast playing Reckless Wilma in the theme skit, managed to play Gollum during counselor skit night (different styles+Lord of the Rings version of a skit=epic) and had a blast doing all of our activities. Wednesday night, I hung out with my play group where we managed to finish a whole mudslide! 8 giant scoops of ice cream, all toppings and cones. I also hung out at the beach with my day camp crew and our lovely staff counselors' Jenn and Joey.

One of the biggest challenges here is dining. Now, its not a hard job. We clean up after lunch and then set up the tables for dinner. However, when you feel spent after working with kids all morning, only have a couple minutes to eat lunch and change into uniform within 20 minutes...now thats a challenge. Today was the hardest since I was so tired. One thing that gets me by though is constantly repeating to myself in my head, "The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH." Somehow, saying this verse over and over again in my head helps me bus tables faster and set up with a sense of gladness in my spirit.

Another challenge this week has been Bible Study. The lessons went totally fine, but I would get a little frustrated with myself if I ran out of things to say. I was also asked some really difficult questions this week. I'm not good on the spot with tough questions...I have to meditate on them for a while before I have figured out the right answer or know what to say. I am really hard on myself a lot of the time...I really hope next week will be a little better.

Week 3 is fast approaching and its gonna rock. Its JEMS week~! That means everyone coming here is Japanese! My boss, Heidi says there are gonna be about 176 kids registering for Day Camp alone! Thats a TON of kids...I hope I am prepared for it.

God has taught me a lot this week. One of the things being prayer. I'am definitely getting more disciplined praying. I keep a prayer journal and have been writing in it a lot...we'll see what He has in store during JEMS week and even on my day off!

As for tomorrow....we celebrate by having an ALL STAFF DANCE PARTY!!!! Ohhhh yessssss!!!!!!! :)

Blessings in Disguise

Its week 2 and I have my own group of kids; 3rd and 4th grade...I literally only have 5 girls in my group this week. A big difference since last week the number was 18. But man oh man do these girls ask some awesome questions. Its only been day one and I already had a girl ask me what a demon was...how do you explain that to a 3rd grader was a question I had to ask myself. I hope I handled it alright. Right after Bible Study came the slip and slide. It was way better this week than last week because it has been super hot today. Unfortunately for me, my first slip and slide of the day was a FAIL. There was barely any water where I tried to slide. It looked like I did a belly flop...I think I bruised my ovaries...but hey...you get up and try again. It was a ton of fun today because I kept hearing, "Kricket! I'll race you!" "Kricket! Give me a boost!". The kids are awesome. I love them already! For Week 2 I will be doing theme skit instead of commercial. I cannot wait! Its my favorite thing to do as a counselor!

I've also been interacting with some of the adults here up at family camp. The other day, I was sitting in the coffee shop (like I am right now), writing a blog. When this lady asked me how to spell 'Conference'. We had to google it, but we found the correct spelling. She began to show me her droid which is like the iPad, but a PC version. She told me she was a writer. I asked her what she was writing about and she told me she was going to write a book about what life was like raising a son who had schizophrenia. She told me her story about how God really worked throughout her life and her son's. I asked her what she did when she felt the lowest of lows. She gave me a warm smile and simply said, "You Trust God!". Such a simple answer...yet it was so powerful. Through the persistency of prayer and trusting God, her son accepted Christ, is doing extremely well now and is now a successful artist and poet. Talk about an amazing story. It left me in awe and gave me so much joy to hear how her faith moved mountains! Inspirational...I hope to find this woman's book one day. She blessed me a lot that day....

I am seeing God in so many ways, but yet I need to make the time to be with Him. How can I witness to the little ones to walk with Christ if I am not walking with Him myself? During our staff worship meeting on Sunday, Charlie from Pondy passed out a devotional for the summer. I hope to get through this whole devo by the end of the summer. I ask that you continue to pray for the staff for energy, strength and health. There are some people already getting hurt, plagued with fatigue and need extra encouragement.

God is definitely stirring things up here at the Herm and I see Him working in the lives of my campers, their families and my staff. I can't get enough of God. I always love seeing where He leads me next and what lessons I can pull from each individual task I do.

Blessings to you from Mount Hermon

~Kricket

One Week Under the Day Camp Belt

What a week it has been up here at Mount Hermon....I cannot believe that I have already been here for 2 weeks! It seems unreal...One of my favorite things about working up at camp is the community we have up here. People have come all over the country (as far as Connecticut) to come work here up in this beautiful environment. Although this week has been challenging, I have had a wonderful time with my campers. My 1st and 2nd graders were a huge blessing for my first week. They were all really sweet and super smart. It was tough saying good-bye to them yesterday because after a week spending so much time with these little guys, you can't help but get attached. They say the funniest things too! I have a lot of quotes in my memory banks that I can go back to and laugh at. One of my little girls, Ella, was really sad the night before she had to leave. She was on the verge of tears as she was saying good-bye to me and Puffin. It was bittersweet. I pray that this amazing group of kids will grow in the Lord for the rest of their lives and will possibly remember the time they spent up at Mount Hermon. After only a week, I grew to love these kids so much...I can't imagine how much more God loves them and cares for them. They are so precious in Christ's eyes. And to think that that is also how God sees me. Its amazing.

Week 2 is fast approaching and I can honestly say that I am ready. I can't wait to find out what group of kids I get this week! I finally get my own group too! I am a little anxious, but I know that it is all going to be just fine. This last week, I really got to see that making mistakes is really how you learn...especially when it comes to a job like this. Again, I am ultimately my toughest critic when I am up here and I had to learn to cut myself some slack or else I'd just beat myself down and would not be useful for my kids. Its cool how much energy I get out of the tiniest compliments too. I've had many kids come up to me saying, "Kricket, you are so awesome." or "Kricket, you are my favorite counselor." It means a lot to me that I have maybe made some sort of a difference in these kids' lives. It gives me the strength and energy to keep doing what I am doing. But ultimately, I now can grasp what it truly means when the Bible says, "The joy of the LORD is my strength." To know that God is using me to help further His kingdom...a small human being with huge sin...a speck of dust in the wind...to see God using someone like me. Its a very humbling feeling. It gives me much joy. That is my strength. And to know that nothing can separate me from the Father's love. No matter how deep or wide my problems may be. God is there no matter what.

Amazing Grace. How sweet the sound.

He Speaks

I wrote something down one day during a meeting....really unaware what I was writing, but just WRITING. I believe the Spirit was at work in this, who else?

"DO NOT FEAR! For I AM with you...I will be with you wherever you go! Surely, I AM with you. Until the end of the age! I will counsel you with my eye upon you! I will quiet you with my love! Do not be anxious, but in prayer and petition say your requests to me! I will answer when you call! I AM the Good Shephard! You know my voice! Have full confidence in Christ Jesus! Your LORD and your God!"

A mash up of verses...now I know what it means to have the Words of God as a seal upon the heart. He is good, SO good!

Preachin' It at the Creach

It's Wednesday and I have had pretty much the whole day to just relax. The Day Camp Crew and I were invited to the lovely Miss Sprinkles' house for a day of relaxation and pool time. It was nice to finally just chill in the afternoon since today was Train Day. All we have to do on Train day is get up, stand at certain locations along the way to the train depot (right down the hill from Day Camp), pump up the kids and their families for train day and sing to them as they take the train down to the Santa Cruz boardwalk for the day. It was so much fun!

Anyways, yesterday was Creach Day. Puffin, Tiger Lily, Rolo and I took our 1st and 2nd graders down to the creek beach for some swimming, rock painting and some plain old fun! If you don't know what rock paint is then you are missing out! You see...when you rub two rocks together, they create this fun clay-like mud and then you use that to paint on yourself....or in this case...your day camp counselor! I told the kids to go crazy and to paint all over me. Well....they did! Hahaha it was awesome. My face was covered in rock paint along with my arms, back, neck and my legs too! They enjoyed it and I did too because I knew that they were having a ton of fun with it. Last but not least came the Polar Bearing. Polar Bearing is when you jump into the freezing cold creek water. Again, I'm not a huge fan of freezing cold water that can freeze my butt cheeks off, but hey....I did it for my kids. And they loved it. I actually enjoyed it this time too because it has been so hot up here at Mount Hermon (up in the 80's).

So anyways, yesterday was also my first time teaching Bible Study for all my kids. Puffin and me have a really good group of kids who are well behaved which is a serious blessing for my first week. I read them the story about how Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. It was cool to see how engaged the kids were and to ask them questions concerning the hope we have in Christ and that one day He will raise us from the dead to be with Him forever in heaven. Although nervous for the first day of preaching to these little guys, I said a quick prayer and the Spirit just completely took over. It was really cool to see God work.

I've also been really enjoying improv skits. The kids are loving them and I am too since I love being a total goober. Hopefully, I can continue going with ideas for the rest of the summer.

Lastly, I am facing some personal trials while I am up here. Its nothing serious, but it does take a lot of patience and reliance on God to make it all better. I know that in time I will get into the swing of things, build a tougher back-bone and get closer with the people that I interact with everyday. That is my hope...and if God is for me, then who can be against me? I am my toughest critic, but I know that if I wasn't going to be good at this job then they would not have hired me. I'm learning what it means to have confidence in Christ.

Peace Out for now!

My Own Week In Pictures ;]

Joyful Exhaustion

Exhausted. Thats all I can say. This week has definitely pushed me. We've been hard at work setting up for the kids next week. Its all gonna be so worth it. Even through my exhaustion, I am honestly so happy doing everything I can to help out. I told God I wanted to serve Him and gosh darn it I will despite my physical body's weakness. There was a moment one day this week where I dismissed myself from the table, went into the restroom and cried in a stall. That sounds so lame, but I sometimes just need to cry to relieve some stress. In my awkward little bathroom stall, I prayed to God for strength. In that moment, I was just SO tired and I still had so much work to do including clean up duty in the dining hall. I cried and just begged God to give me strength to keep moving forward. I felt so much better after that and He was so faithful. I managed to get through that day with His strength.

Last night, we had testimony night. My Day Camp staff went to Heidi and Joe's house (Heidi is my boss if ya'll don't know by now). There, we gathered in a circle and told our stories. I was amazed at all the stories that I heard. I related to SO many people. Its cool to hear about how God has been faithful in everyone's lives up here. Whether its a dry spell or a time of harvest. I even gave my testimony. I was really nervous because I've never told strangers my story. I was scared because there are some things I'm not proud of. But when I gave it, I hoped that it touched someone in some way or another. I wanted God to have all the glory by the end of the testimony.

I felt a new vibe going into "work" today ( I feel like its more of a home now). Everyone seemed to have a new set of energy and we immediately got to work. I was painting downstairs by myself thinking about last night. I honestly woke up embarrassed. Dang, I just poured out my heart to people that barely know me...would they still accept me as one of their own? Obviously, that was a lie from Satan. I was reassured when one of my team leaders (Breck) came downstairs, simply placed his hand on my head and said, " I am really glad you are here, Kricket." I hope he knows how much it meant to me. It gave me new energy and joy. And I hope that he was touched by God through my story.

I'm loving my job. I'm loving my DC Pirate Crew. I feel God is using me up here. He's placed us up here not only to serve the wonderful little tykes, but He's placed us here to help each other in areas we need the most help in. Praise the LORD! I cannot wait to have one on one time with each one of my brothers and sisters.

I am happy I have found a place where I can transform and rest for this summer. Spiritually rest ;]

Mt. Hermon Meetings and Craziness

So I just had to spread this around. This is one of our staff counselors, Joey. He's pretty awesome and hilarious and hangs out with us often. He wrote this song and played it at one of our meetings. I actually love our staff meetings. They are fun and consist of awesome worship time, testimonies and instructions for the day.

Kricket with a 'K'

(If this blog makes any sense to you; congrats cuz I am trying hard to write down everything as fast as I can cuz I have a meeting in a couple of minutes)

I'm here and it is so great! Our first meeting was a dance party...yeah I LOVE it up here. I have literally been doing things from 7 to midnight each day...even though its been exhausting, I absolutely adore my staff. We are all getting a long so well and having some Loma people here makes it feel a lot like home. This week has been so intense that I have not had enough time to catch up on life and to talk to all my friends at home. But just so you know, everything is going well! We have been decorating day camp and it reminds me of an INTENSE VBS...we are in charge of everything and we must come up with everything on our own such as skits, decorations, shopping for the decorations, Bible lessons (even though we have a guide)....So much information has been crammed into my brain that I feel like a zombie at times. Good news though! I have had a major appetite since being up here and my insomnia has been slowly decreasing. We are waiting for one more guy to come up because we are short of men on staff. The first night was great as we came up with names for all the new people including myself. I decided on Kricket with a K since there has been another Cricket and I wanted to be original. We played a game called the match game where you light a match and say as many things as you can about yourself before the match burns out....or before it burns you. I lost. I got the lowest score. But it was HILARIOUS.

I will introduce you to my staff laters. But I have a meeting soon, so I will just write everyone's camp name and hopefully I won't forget anyone!

The Guys: Spike, Breck, Ollie, Amp, Frogger, Hooligan (Hooly, Hoolio), Rafiki...waiting on one more
The Gals: Mogli, Whinny, Sassy, Sprinkles, Tiger Lily, Kricket, Puffin, Rolo and Toaster

Sending...

I just got back from a wonderful mini trip to Yosemite. Unfortunately, it was rainy when we arrived, but we decided to hike around anyways (it was just a drizzle). Although I am not a huge fan of hiking, I did enjoy spending time with my Aunt Lynda and my Uncle Wynn. I hardly get to see them since they live in Texas and this was my uncle's first time in Yosemite! Even though it was FREEZING up there, the sun finally appeared the last two days we were there. And yes....mom and uncle Wynn spotted a bear ;]

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY. I finally am going up to the mountains to Mount Hermon. I am really excited, but of course I'm nervous...I feel the butterflies. New environment, new faces, first job...who wouldn't be nervous? I know God has called me into this ministry this summer. Some people have been asking me the following questions: what do you want out of this summer? What do you want God to do in your life? If I am being perfectly honest....I have NO idea. I am honestly up for anything. I have no 'THIS MUST HAPPEN OR SUMMER IS NOT GOING TO BE AWESOME' thoughts. I am just ready to see what God wants. I am ready to see how God is going to use me. I am an open book....and Jesus has the pen. I know that at times I may have to go out of my comfort zone and I may get weak, but thats when you really gotta get on your knees and ask God for help, strength and encouragement. And TRUST me...there's plenty of that in the Bible. I cannot wait to worship with the kids and all my new friends. To worship in the form of staring in awe at God's wonderful creation. To feel my heart beat to a new rhythm. Last summer was difficult, but I found healing in my Savior's arms (once again). This summer, I hope to give back. To allow God to offer healing, encouragement or laughs through me. I was created to worship. I was created to serve. I was created for a purpose. That purpose is to love, and love and love.

Get ready. Here we go!

Yo-Sam-ight...YOSEMITE!

Time to leave grandma's house for Yosemite. I'm excited to return to this wonderful park. It seems that we've been making it a tradition now to return every summer. I've been with Krystine and her church where we lived in a place called House Keeping (I think...don't remember) and then I've gone camping with a bunch of family friends from Grace. Each year, there has been some sort of excitement having to do with a black bear(s). The year I went with Krystine was probably the scariest (in a good way! Haha). Krystine and I decided to drag our mattresses out of the tent and sleep outside (our tents had wooden barricades, chill!). Well, thanks to some not-so-intelligent boys who decided to leave marshmallows around the campfire, a mama bear and her two cubs came into our campsite. Luckily, it didn't come near Krystine and I...we only found out because her mom literally came screaming back from the bathroom shouting, "BEARRRSSSSSSSSS~!!!!" at the top of her lungs! Oh mannnn....such good times! Although scary, it makes for some good laughs now! We didn't get a wink of sleep that night! Bears were every where!

Last year was great too! We hiked a bunch (not really a fan, but with great friends it makes time go by), biked around the valley, saw a bunch of deer, went to glacier point, fed a bunch of fat lazy squirrels, went squirrel fishing (tie a peanut to a string and VOILA, instant entertainment!), floated down the river on inner tubes, watched my brother flirt with the raft guide, hung out the car windows while driving into the valley, got bit by a ton of mosquitos, had my mom's backpack stolen by a bear (we got it back), shared and laughed around the campfire and found an awesome spot in the river where me, Lindsay and Robin caught butterflies. Don't forget bears in our campsite....I've never seen my brother move quite as fast as he did that day! Who knew that it had to be the little sister to the rescue as I screamed at it to go away! ;]

This year shall be good too! We're staying in the Yosemite Lodge in a cottage with my 2 aunts, 2 uncles, mom, dad and brother. It shall be an adventure. We're going horseback riding!!!! I LOVE HORSEBACK RIDING!!! And it can't be a trip to Yosemite without a bear sighting!!

A Wedding on a Peach Orchard Farm

I have exactly a week before camp starts and until then, I've been enjoying spending time with my family. There's not much to do up here, but I am trying to enjoy it as much as I can because I know that I am going to be super busy this summer and this might be the only opportunity left to just be a huge blob on the couch at my grandma's house watching River Monsters with my mom, dad and grandma.

Anyways, yesterday was Bre's wedding and it was GORGEOUS. It was seriously everything that I've dreamed about for my own wedding one day (something that every girl thinks about). The venue was on a beautiful green orchard farm, full of peach trees. Although it was rainy when we arrived, it cleared up right on time! Right before the guests arrived, I decided to go find my cousins Bre and Kayla. Bre's mom, DeEtte, showed me where they were. They had been getting ready in this cute little building that was right by the reception area right in the middle of the orchard. Bre looked stunning in her dress and all her bridesmaids looked adorable. Turns out that the dress I wore matched the wedding color scheme (teal, smoky grey and yellow)! Talk about luck, right? I was having trouble walking because heels+rocky dirt paths= FAIL. "Forget this!" I said with a touch of humor and decided to walk around bare footed. I was in charge of the guest book which was a delight for me since I love to be included in big celebrations, especially when its family and weddings.

The ceremony was like a dream...Bre came down the aisle looking like a princess. Of course, I had to look at the grooms face and just one look at his face, I knew he loved her. They exchanged vows under a big old oak tree which made the ceremony that much more romantic. I can just tell that both Bre and Chris love the Lord very much and wanted to make sure that they're guests knew that God was the very reason why they were together. God's presence was totally there. Part of the reception was held in the barn where they had a slideshow and chocolate covered strawberries (MY FAVORITE!!!). Although it started to rain towards the end, the reception was still so perfect. The rain added that romantic feel to it. Lunch was a sack lunch and they decided to personalize their own Jones' soda with their engagement photo on it with a verse from Song of Solomon. We toasted to the couple with the bottles...the whole thing was fun, cheery and had a sense of innocent playful love. Perfection.

All in all, it was a dreamy romantic country style wedding fit for a lovely couple. Congrats Chris and Breanna Redner. Happy Honeymooning!

Random

I'm bored....I needed entertainment...or something funny to look at...These will do. Hope they bring you amusement as well!

Ohhhh yeahhhh...Shaq with a panda....doesn't get any better than that!

Cow Country

I love Northern California. Period. Growing up in Southern California has its perks and I am so blessed to be there. However, sometimes I get sick of the superficial lifestyle that I see amongst residents in Southern Cali. I'd definitely say that there is so much more to life than what kind of car you drive or how much money you can spend in one shopping spree. I love keeping things simple. That's why I get some sort of relief as soon as we drive out of the Grapevine. Wide open spaces. Farmlands. The warm honey yellow color of the grass. Blue skies that travel for miles. And cows. LOTS of them. I love the sense of freedom and not feeling claustrophobic within the big city limits. As we drive along the 5, I love listening to country music. I really don't care what people think of country music. I mean, have you ever tried to listen to it while imagining running through open fields of wildflowers or wild grass and then stopping to twirl in the open field with your hands raised towards the sky? Ok...so I have a weird imagination, but I love feeling that way so much! The freedom in that is just so amazing. I sometimes like to think that I am a country girl at heart.

Of course, the beach with the country wouldn't hurt one bit. I'd say, that that would be my idea of heaven on earth. I can't forget my roots of being a total beach bum. ;]

Conquering the 5...Freeway That Is!

Tomorrow (technically today...but who cares? Its 12 in the AM), I leave for Northern California. I know I technically don't start work till June 4th. But the fam bam and I decided to get this party started early. By 'party', I mean that my cousin is getting married to her junior high (holy molies) sweetheart this Saturday and I wouldn't wanna miss it for the world! I'm gonna be helping out with the wedding and I can't wait to see Bre as a lovely bride! After that, I stay with my lovely Grandma Darling and then its off to Yosemite with the crazy relatives! I am so excited to see my family...yay for Christian family reunions (haha). Hopefully, the bears won't steal our stuff like they did last year. I am glad I get to spend time with my family on vacation before I leave for the whole summer!

Then, June 4th is the BIG DAY! Time to meet a new family: my summer staff! Gotta love Christian family gatherings ;] (not by blood but by Spirit).