Strength in Weakness

I am currently at work, sipping away on my scrumptious Carmel Macchiato that a good friend got me (I'm obsessed with carmel things) and enjoying the sound of the gentle tapping of my keyboard as I type these words. I don't really know who takes the time to read the musings of a 21 year old girl, but the thought of someone finding these words encouraging is uplifting in itself. And I thank you, whoever you are, if you happened to stumble across this little blog.

I've been thinking a lot about this past weekend. It was SO good. Better than good. Rejuvenating. Yeah, I'll stick with that. Anyways, I went snowboarding with my mom, Lindsay, Robin, Chelsey, Michelle and Barret. It was so much fun even though I stopped right after lunch after only 3 runs.

I simply got too tired and dehydrated to keep going on. I ended up sitting in the car, napping, reading and talking with God. During that solo time, I never thought that God would reveal something to me. I mean, there I was, really angry with myself that I couldn't suck it up and keep going. However, the thought of it was nauseating. I just had no strength. Feeling that way lead to a whole path of insecurities that started to surface in my mind. A domino effect of negativity. Thoughts like, 'Why am I so weak?', 'Why can't I do anything right?', 'I am such a disappointment...' etc. Negative after negative and to top it all off, my heart has been in the midst of deeper struggles than that. I was feeling pretty down in that car, so I decided to text my dad. I told him I felt bad because I felt like my parents wasted money on me. His reply? "No worries, sweetie! I would have paid it just to see for the fun we had last night." (The previous night we danced like a bunch of crazy people at a 50th birthday party).

That's when God began to speak to me. It didn't matter how many runs I did. He still loved me and I was His. It was so impacting at that moment. I began to argue back telling Him that I just wanted to make Him proud (because the last year of my life, I had just felt like I'd been messing up ALL the time). What if I did one more run for Him? To bring Him glory? He told me that it was just as important to know your limitations as well as your strengths. He told me to look at the mountain at all the people snowboarding. Then proceeded to say that a lot of the people who came to Snow Summit that day did not have that mind set (to bring Him glory by just snowboarding down a mountain). I had made him proud by the simple desire to want to bring Him glory with a simple thing. That encouragement from the Holy Spirit made all the negative thoughts disappear and was replaced by an unexplainable peace. In that moment, I was ok again and I had found strength in my weakness.

The Holy Spirit can speak to you at any point. For me, it was in a car at the bottom of the Snow Summit run. So random, but so good.

2 Corinthians 12:9
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Not Of This World

I am a Christian. I love Jesus with my whole heart, soul and mind. I fail Him often. I stumble. I am not perfect, but I know Jesus is forever with me. No matter how many times I want to give up. No matter how many times I am laughed at or made fun of for my beliefs. No matter how many tears are shed because sometimes telling people about the Gospel can not only be joyful, but also painful. Painful because not everyone else views the Gospel as the most glorious thing and the most precious gift God has given man-kind. But instead, the world mocks you, spits in your face, tells you you're close-minded, raid your homes, kill your loved ones and may even kill you for standing up for the Kingdom that has been established by the Prince of Peace, King Jesus.

I've been thinking a lot lately. A lot about where my country is heading. My stomach churns at seeing some of the things that are going on in the news. How the Christian voice is being silenced in our government. How Christianity is considered offensive. How people hate Christians because they believe we are judgmental which is hypocrisy because in turn, they are judging us. Yes, we are human too, but we have come to realize the Truth. Being a Christian doesn't instantly mean we become perfect people, but instead its a public statement that we have seen our own sin and understand that we need forgiveness from the Way, the Truth and the Life...that being through Jesus' sacrifice on that cross. The only perfect person. The Son of God. The perfect sacrifice. In trusting that He is the only way for salvation, we bear our own crosses, deny ourselves and try to lead in Jesus' example within our everyday lives. To stand up for the Truth and to proclaim the same Words that Christ had spoken.

However, the older I get, the more I come to realize how tough it is to be a stranger in a foreign land. I am not home. This world is not my home. My heart breaks because people that don't know Christ will never understand. Will never empathize with you on your views. Will think that you hate instead of love. For example, if I ever tell someone I don't approve of homosexuality, I would be considered anti-gay, a hater, an extremist, too close minded. But in saying that about me without even knowing me or asking me why, aren't you the one judging me? Aren't you the real hater? Aren't you the real extremist?

Just because I don't agree with someone does not mean I hate them. If anything, I am called to love. The real Christian would know this and live this out. The real open minded person would open the Bible and see for themselves why Christians believe what we do and what Christ has called us to do.

The more I hear the things happening in our world, the eerier it gets because everything that Christ has talked about is coming true. The world hates us for Him (John 15:18-19).