Week 7: Why I'm Here

At the beginning of the summer...I couldn't really find out why I've been called up here. I mean, sure, I felt the Spirit's calling and had that weird desire that I couldn't explain inside my heart, but I really had no exact reason WHY He was calling me up to Mount Hermon. To serve, yes...but why? For who? I learned that this week.

Week 7 brought some challenges. Her name being (I'll just use a fake name) 'Squirt'. This little 'Squirt' was only going into third grade, but she was a handful. I realized this the first night when the little squirt held onto my leg all through lawn chants, climbed on top of my back and constantly had her hands on my face. The first thing I thought of her, "Oh God...why did you put her in MY group. I don't want to have a psycho child." Squirt would be singing and having fun on lawn chants and then the next minute she would stomp off to the back behind everyone else. A frown on her face and her arms crossed. I would go and check on her and she would constantly complain, "I'm too tired...and my arm hurts. No wait! My leg hurts. NO WAIT! Its really my hand." I would roll my eyes and urge her to join the other kids who were standing in their lines. Throughout the week, she would squirm in Bible Study. Cling all over the other counselors. The tiniest third grade girl with the personality fit for a diva. She would bring up death a lot in prayer requests. It was strange. Then I realized that she had just lost someone she loved. She talked about life at home. Her parents were divorced. She didn't miss being at home. My heart went out to this little girl. Throughout the course of the week, I felt a strange connection with her. I couldn't explain it, but I knew it was the Holy Spirit drawing me to this little hyper active child. She craved attention probably because she didn't get much of it at home. I knew that when she would act up it would be because she was either tired or had something on her mind. I would talk her out of it and encourage her. The last night was at camp fire and she was off by herself. I went up to her and asked her what was wrong. "My stomach hurts really bad!" she cried. I knew it didn't. She over reacts at times. I had her come sit in my lap while a man on his guitar played 'Come Thou Fount'. She looked around during campfire. "Mom forgot about me!" she would say. I had to reassure her that she didn't and that we had everything under control. Squirt is a funny girl...it was kind of gross when she would fart in my lap, look up at me with a huge toothless grin and say, "HAHAHA KRICKET! I just farted in your lap..." I did some fake laughing, "Yaaa you sure did!". When campfire was over I stood holding her looking around for her parents. They weren't there. "I told you they forgot!" She was obviously terribly upset. My boss and I headed up with her to Day Camp to call her folks when her mom came down the hill, "Hey Squirt! Look I went to the fountain and got you food!" Not telling her this before going to Day Camp. Knowing the parents were supposed to pick up there kids...and it was already 9:30. The last time I saw her, she stomped away with her mom in tow asking 'What's wrong?'.

I know why I'm here. Kids like Squirt...like Dustin...like a lot of other children. Coming from broken homes...coming from places where they feel like no one listens or knows they exist. They come to a safe place like Day Camp to have fun for a week. I have always felt like I had a lot of love to offer....I felt like a lot of people didn't respond to it. People of my past. My heart carries a lot of burdens. Doubt, fear and brokenness. God responded. He knew that my heart would be perfect for this job. He also knew I had a lot of love to give. So He called me here. Where the love I pour out is accepted. Is encouraged. Is reciprocated. I give love and God gives it right back through the little kids I interact with. He sees and knows my heart. He calls me beautiful. He wanted to use it. He WANTED to use it....let that sink in. I am wanted by the creator of the heavens and the earth. He doesn't need me. He WANTS me.

I have fallen in love with God even more this summer. Being a camp counselor was my calling. He knew I'd be perfect for these kids. I am so blessed. So humbled....and so in awe of the majesty and great wonders of this King that I serve. My heart is overflowing. I want it to be contagious.