The Thief of Memories: Alzheimer's Disease

I can't sleep. So let me tell you a story.



Today was the day that I worked in Memory Care. Sometimes it feels like a constant battle whenever I go in. I don't know how my residents will be. They could be happy, lazy, tired or agitated. Luckily today, they were kind of groggy, so I sat down with them and read them a chapter of "To Kill A Mockingbird". As I was reading, I was constantly aware of the new resident in the room. Let's just call her 'Hope' to keep her identity safe.

Hope had just moved in with her husband, 'Steve'. However, Steve did not live in Memory Care. Steve lives in our independent building. The day I heard about them moving in, I knew that he had chosen Park Terrace because of the Memory Care unit we provide. The day I met Steve, he came down to play some blackjack. The first thing I noticed about him was how kind, sweet and gentle he was. Whenever he would lose to me, he would chuckle, make a funny remark and hand over his chips. He was very generous too. He offered his chips to a woman who had never played blackjack with us and when she asked if it was ok, he simply said, "It's not a problem at all."

I would see Steve walk back and forth from the main building to Memory Care. I would say hi and ask him where he was going. "Oh I am just going to go eat lunch with my wife. She likes company." My heart melted every time I saw him walking over to memory care very slowly using his walker. It was (still is) so adorable.

It was a very different experience when I had met his wife Hope.

It was a Sunday and I went into Memory Care to take down some old decorations. My co-worker was calling Bingo and I noticed that Hope was sitting off to the side. She was not happy. Every time he would call a number, she would start yelling at him in jibberish. A sign of agitation in someone who has Alzheimer's Disease. I was taking stuff down when my co-worker says to me, "Be careful taking stuff down around Hope. She's been hitting and throwing things." For some reason, it did not scare me. I began to take things down around her, trying to put myself in her shoes.

Here she was in a strange place and there was someone calling out numbers in "her" living room. Of course she was agitated. Who was this strange man in her living room?! I decided to introduce myself. "Hello, Hope. My name is Jessie. How are you today? How are you and Steve?"

Instant change in demeanor. Her face went quickly from looking aggressive to a huge smile on her face,
"Oh, hello! sdashvscacasmdfas if you drink sfhd;asjfda;fjasf I have not seen Steve asd;lhfvnacasfjdafa don't eat too much ds;afamsac."

I could not make out what she was saying, but I knew something inside her clicked. I was still a little unsure. She was well into the last stages of Alzheimer's Disease. I went on my way, but I was still bothered by it.

.....

The next day, I decided to give her husband, Steve, a call to see if I could find out more about his wife. Unfortunately, he was unable to talk because it was a rough day. He was with Hope and she was reliving the memories of losing her mother. I understood and told Steve that I would try to contact him some other time.

Someone who has Alzheimer's Disease (depending on the stages) will relive some of the most devastating memories of their lives. Over. And over. And over again. Can you imagine that? The saddest moment in your life. And it resurfaces every day. Hour. Minute.

.....

After today, I left Memory Care and ran into Steve. He was, again, making his slow journey over to check in on his wife. I asked him how he was and that I hope he and Hope were having a better day. I could tell he looked tired. I then got into a short conversation with him about Hope. Asking him what she used to like to do.

"She used to love doing arts and crafts. She was really good at that. I've tried to help her get back into it. Unfortunately, I would hand her a brush to use to paint, but she would tell me she doesn't want to do it anymore or that she wasn't interested...things have changed so much in the last year. I keep remembering how she used to be and who she is now..." He began tearing up, "...it makes me cry just thinking about it." As he said that, he pointed to an old picture on his walker. It was an old black and white picture of Hope.

My heart tightened. The only thing I know what to do in moments like that is to just hug the person. So, I gave Steve a hug and let him know that I know what he was going through because my grandpa also had Alzheimer's Disease. He was not alone.

Steve smiled and said a thank you and walked away to join Hope in Memory Care.

.....

What a beautiful form of love in Steve. He is a man who loves his wife for better or for worse. I am so amazed at what a gentle and loving soul this man is. And although he may not know it, I am so touched by his story. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about how hard it must be for him.

Not only Steve and Hope, but for all the husbands, wives, sisters, brothers and families struggling with the Thief of Memories: Alzheimer's Disease.

My hope is that one day there will be a cure. If not a cure, than a prevention of the disease. I hope that this little story touches your life. I hope that you will pray for this beautiful little elderly couple who are one of the millions of people who are affected by Alzheimer's Disease. I hope that you check out the Alzheimer's Association website (Click here) to find out more about the disease and how to donate or help out this amazing organization so near and dear to many.

Lastly, may we see these people through our loving Savior's eyes. That although their minds are wasting away, these people still know and sense what loving kindness is. It is something that connects all humans together. Love.

1 Corinthians 13:7-8

"Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."