God's Clear Call

Its funny how fast life can progress....

About a month ago, I got a call from a place in Rancho Santa Margarita (RSM) asking me if I would like to come in for an interview. I may have told some of you that the full time position seemed too good to be true because it was absolutely PERFECT for me. They were looking for someone creative to help with art programs and planning, the location was 10 minutes from my house and it was a full time position as a wellness assistant aka activities assistant. I went in, interviewed, got called back, interviewed again and then after only 2 hours past the last interview, they called me back and offered me the job!

Well, its been 3 weeks in and I am seriously in love with what I do. Despite the hard days (boy have there been crappy days...), I have loved every single minute of it. Every day, I get up and can't wait to see my residents at Park Terrace. Not only are the residents great, but the people I work with are fantastic.  My boss and I are so alike and we laugh about how everyone thinks we are related. She is so encouraging and positive. She's the kind of boss you aren't afraid to talk to and she trusts me enough with certain tasks. If I don't feel confident about something, she takes me through it step by step until I do, she's patient and she wants me to be real. A boss you like working for makes a HUGE difference.

Now about what I do. My job may seem easy. Yes, I do get to play Bingo and Blackjack with the residents. Yes, I get to coach balloon volleyball. Yes, I do help run the book club and get to read and discuss the book of the month with the residents. Yes, an hour of my time on Thursdays is to drink coffee and talk about life with my residents.

However, it is hard as well. People complain. Like ALL the time. About the food. About an activity you planned for weeks. About stupid little things that you never would have thought about unless you were 98 years old, sitting on your walker and watching people as they walk by. People can be so ungrateful.

People die. Death is very evident in this place. I was talking to one of my co-workers and he told me that 911 is called daily and they've even had people have strokes in the middle of an activity. Apparently, one person died in the middle of one. She just keeled over and died. I am scared to actually witness this one day. I am scared and don't know how I will react if something like that happens. I have never seen someone take their last breath before...

Despite the hard stuff, I 100% believe that God gave me this job for a reason. He blessed me with such a perfect fit. I wake up and thank the Lord for what He has given me. I don't deserve it, yet I know His hand was in this from the very beginning. All I had to do was pray, wait and trust Him. Some people were skeptical...they were wondering how the heck my relationship with God will grow if I work on Sundays. Then again...God doesn't just work on Sundays. I had faith that if Christ blessed me with this perfect job for me, He was going to make a way for me to still spend time with Him. It might take some extra initiation on my part, but God is faithful. And guess what? My boss is awesome and she has recently told me that if I wanted to come in later on Sundays, that would be fine. How awesome is that? Its even more awesome because I can still see my wonderful, goofy, sweet, handsome boyfriend too! :) OH HAPPY JESSIE!!!

So here's some random wisdom. If you don't know where life is going, if you don't know what's going to happen next, guess what? That. Is. OK.

Seek the Lord and He will make your paths straight. He is faithful. He knows your future. Ask Him to guide you.  God is faithful and He always provides for His children. While you wait, worship Him. Fall in Love with Him. Rejoice in Him.

Do not worry. TRUST HIM.

 

A Taste of Heaven in a Dream

You know those dreams that you never want to wake up from? The ones that you escape to and wonder if you're in heaven?

I've always believed that the human mind can be a scary yet beautiful place. How cool is it that your brain is probably the most intricate and mysterious thing in the world? There are places that dreams take me to that are like no other place in the world! I can recall some dreams where I wake up and I think to myself, 'I hope heaven will be like that' or 'Oh wow! That place was so cool! I need to write it down.' I mean...I've had dreams where I have been on massive old time ships sailing off a waterfall and ascending down into the sky. I've seen colors I've never even seen before. I've met creatures that seem straight out of a fantasy novel. My point is, that I think dreams are cool, weird, scary, mysterious and beautiful. Do I believe every dream means something? No, but I like what my mind can sometimes create (except for nightmares...I HATE those!!!!).

I'm just gonna tell you a dream I had my last semester of college. I wrote it down because I never wanted to leave that dream. At the time, I was highly stressed over things in my personal life that I didn't really feel peace...until I had this dream. I woke up feeling refreshed, alive and strangely intrigued.

Here's how it went (straight out of my journal. My thoughts might seem scattered...):

A Taste of Heaven in a Dream:

"I had a very interesting dream last night. Its one of those dreams where you feel adventurous, but you're at peace. I was on a science trip to Switzerland. We were studying about some ocean creatures that were traveling up a fresh water stream...which is peculiar. The fresh water stream was as clear as crystal and as cold as snow. It traveled up a mountain and through a wooden cabin. I remember the cabin being so warm and cozy. Then my team moved on to this lake that was surrounded by high mountains and greenery. We were testing products/machines that gave you the ability of some animals (boots that could walk on water like the Jesus lizard). Upon going through a rocky archway, the view took my breath away...high mountains, navy/sapphire lake, greenery everywhere! The lake was beautiful. But on the mountain to the right, there was a brightly colored castle engraved into the side of the mountain. Bright yellows, greens, apple red, turquoise...and to get out of the castle, it looked like people had to bobsleigh down. The castle was abandoned, so some color was faded. Someone told me that the man who had built it spent his life preparing it because he thought that once he died, his soul would reside there. Creepy. Upon staring at the castle, I saw something else. A pack of blue whales! Their giant tails came out of the water and the sun shone down on them as if they were splashing liquid light. It had to be one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen.

It was a beautiful dream....where you can literally feel everything around you. The wind on your face, the smell of the trees, the leap of your heart and the coolness of the water...breathtaking. I didn't want to wake up!"

Thoughts

I always find it funny that people tend to put the blame on God when horrible things go wrong. Why are you blaming God? Blame the Enemy who's whole motif is to shame the name of the LORD. We live in a fallen world, but Jesus has overcome the world.

The Seafaring Soul

By the Sea!
By the Sea!
For that is where you'll find me.

By the place that triggers my heart,
And mists my eyes.

By the place where friendships were made,
Storms were had,
And Love was found.

By the Sea!
By the Sea!

Cast away, my Soul!
Set sail, you Found!
Keep your sights ahead,
Let not your chains ye be bound.

Come about, ye sailors!
Keep near the wind.
Let its reign steer you clear.

Your compass is there,
Your map is alive.
There is nothing to fear.
You will arrive.

By the Sea!
By the Sea!

Headway in irons,
Make fast your line.

By night, the ocean roars.
By dawn, it slumbers.

Lay anchor, ye sailor.
Call upon your Captain!

He is there.
He is your guide!
He knows the Wind,
Why must ye hide?

Keep to the Horizon,
Awake ye, O sleeper!
Be still...

The journey is long,
The time is short.
 Be vigilent,
You will make it to port.

Your Seafaring Soul will rest.

By the Sea!
By the Sea!
For that is where you will find me.

BLAH.

Oh, life...where are you going?

Why do you feel so lost?

Why do you feel so stuck?

What's wrong with you? With me?

Why is your heart heavy with each passing day?



God,

What the heck are you doing? What are your plans for me? Do you have plans for me? Cause right now, I am walking aimlessly.

I am apathetically waiting.

What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to go?! Why did you take away my original plans? Why did things change?

I'm kind of frustrated with you. I've been patient. haven't I? Why do I feel useless and scared? I'm scared of being useless, but useless being scared.

WHAT. IS. MY. FUTURE.

Face Lift

Hey ya'll,

My dear little blog was in terrible need of a face lift. So *boom*, name change and background change.

I started this blog dedicated to my experiences at camp up at Mt. Hermon. Well, I am happy to say that those posts are still there. Have fun digging through the entries. However, I know that that part of my life is done. Another chapter has closed and I know God moved in drastic ways in my life up at Mt. Hermon. I will never forget the experience for as long as I live.

Now a new chapter of my life commences. I do tend to go on tangents and try to make sense of things through writing, but I find that at the end of my entries I manage to make a point. My soul is on a journey. And just like the ocean, it is unpredictable. However, I have a great Captain and the Wind is my guide.

Who knows? Maybe I'll change it. Blogs now a days have such cute names. Who comes up with them?!?! Maybe this name change will be temporary until I think of a better name (it's so late and I am sun burnt and tired).

And I liked the background. What is life but a sail boat anyways?

Well, ciao.

Post-Grad Life

I don't know about you, but I'm feeling 22. Well...almost, but I am definitely having those young person worries, dreams, doubts and joys that T-Swift lays out there. For those of you who may have just graduated or have been out of school for a while, lets have an "I feel ya..." moment. And for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, this following blog entry may seem irrelevant for you.

To be quite frank (and this depends on each person)...

1.) I am dirt poor.
2.) I've been filling out resumes like no other mother....
3.) I am running out of ideas of what to say on my resumes. I kinda just want to put "Pokemon Master" under my skills section, but I want it to sound more professional.
4.) I feel like I've changed so much in the last 4 years of my life, that home feels like a shrunken old sweater. And I just look awkward and out of place.
5.) I feel like a whiny teenager and I want to just pinch myself every time I think "I feel like no one understands me." Truth is....most of you probably do.
6.) I think I've browsed all the online job boards out there.
7.) If I hear the question "Do you have a job yet?" one more time, I think I might crawl to the nearest corner and proceed to cry in a fetal position. Or rip all my hair out.
8.) What the hey? Where'd all my friends go?
9.) I wish they taught us in school how to boost your confidence when you STILL haven't heard back from the place that you applied to. And interviewed at. And called back.
10.) I'm bumming off my parents still. Its highly uncomfortable.
11.) Every time I call a place...and I hear that ringing....and they answer...I get so scared out of my mind and I see myself just hanging up. But somehow, I manage to sound cool and professional.
12.) The best part about interviews? I can wear the same outfit to different places. And no one will know.
13.) I have become a frugal crazy lady. A money Nazi. A Tight wad...with my wallet.
14.) I'm seeing these "YAY! I can't wait to go back to school" posts and I think to myself, 'Oh dear gosh...take me with you.' (I'm sure that will go away when I see homework posts...and then I'll just laugh and laugh and laugh ;) heehee)
15.) Money sucks.
16.) I miss my college friends like crazy.
17.) Money sucks.
18.) Rent would suck. (Did I mention I'm still living with my parents?)
19.) I look like a baby in professional get-up.
20.) The best thing about interviews is that I can be myself. I've learned from experience that if you think too hard...you will more than likely mess up and freeze.
21.) Cereal is still my best friend.
22.) I don't know what to do in my free time...so I apply to another job.
23.) My eye twitches when I think that I am now a part of the unemployed population. And that scares me.
24.) I feel...stuck.
25.) I am seriously grateful for my parents. I don't know where I'd be without there encouragment, love and support...and their home haha.
26.) I love having home cooked meals again.
27.) I do love having free time...but I freak out sometimes. Like...I pace my floor wondering what I'm gonna do with my life.
28.) I am still quite sassy in the late hours and I am sad because I miss being sassy with my roommates.
29.) I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up...and I'm a grown up.
30.) This post grad life is an awkward stage.
32.) I skipped 31.
33.) My parents have a bigger social life than I do.
34.) Older person: "Oh you've graduated? Bwhahaha welcome to reality."
35.) I'm surprised you made it to 35.
36.) I get tired at 10 now.
37.) Although this feels like the hardest stage of life...God has still been good and has showered His blessings like no other on my soul.

Those are my late night thoughts. That's a part of my life. But on a more serious note. I know God has a plan for me.  As the great Sheldon would say (Big Bang Theory anyone?), its kinda like Schrodinger's cat (click here). Or if you prefer Forrest Gump? Life is like a box of chocolates. You don't know what you're gonna get. Open up those boxes of opportunity, people. Go for it. We're young. Don't give up. You have a lot to offer the world. Use those talents.

Most importantly...now is the perfect time to learn what it means to wait on the Lord.