As you all might know, I am wrapping things up here at the Herm. I cannot believe it either! This summer has gone by in the blink of an eye! I am still processing this summer, but one main thing I have pulled away from it is that God can bless you in your brokenness.
I came into this summer with a broken heart. There were just a lot of things that I was questioning and a lot of things that I needed to let go of. I had no idea how I was going to go through this summer. I was already tired and beaten. But God blessed me in ways that I cannot even begin to explain. This entry goes out to the Lord.
God has a funny sense of humor. I say this because who knew that God had this in mind for me when I came into this summer. I used to have a mind set of "Oh no...I messed up big time...I'm not in the right to receive blessings from God based off of where I am at in my life right now, let alone teach kids about Jesus..."
Woah. Hold up...was I questioning His Grace? His goodness? His provision? His LOVE...for me? The whole "I did something wrong so I am going to be punished" way of thinking was a trap that I had been living in.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you..." Psalm 32:8
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Week 7: Dallas Theological Seminary Week!
Helloooo world...
Yup. I am still alive. Sorry about not posting for a while, but I have been extremely busy. I have yet to talk about Week 7 or Week 8, but here I go! Sorry if its a lot. Week 7 was Dallas week which is similar to the JEMS week schedule which means a whole extra day of session. It was a long and busy week, but really awesome.
Adrianna was back this week. She and along with Dustin were the campers that I felt like God placed in my life specifically to be their camp counselor last summer. I requested 3rd/4th in hopes of having this little diva in my group again. But it seemed that God had different plans for me. As soon as my boss said I had 1st and 2nd grade, the look on my face said it all. I did NOT want to have 1st and 2nd grade again. I have spent more time with this grade group out of any other one this summer and I just wanted to have older kids because it takes an extra amount of energy to work with them.
However, my heart began to soften for these little guys. My group was awesome and I loved them dearly. Out of all the scavenger hunts I've done, this week topped them all! It was crazy good for lots of reasons...mostly because Frizz got abducted by my friend Shane because he pretended to mistake her for a mermaid (loooooong story). It was hilarious.
By the end of the week, I was exhausted. The highlight of that week was the campfire that Dallas does. All the adults and youth (Day Campers included), share about how God had worked in their lives that week. I was shocked when mostly younger people spoke. There were only 3 adults who spoke and the rest were kids! It was so awesome. The most precious moment to me was when one of the girls from my small group fell asleep in my arms while all this sharing was going on. Afterwards, we sang a bunch of worship songs. My heart was so filled with love and joy in that moment. There's something precious about a child falling asleep in your arms. The peace and innocence is so sweet. I held Sara and sang songs to the Lord that night. So thankful and so blessed that I was there.
Yup. I am still alive. Sorry about not posting for a while, but I have been extremely busy. I have yet to talk about Week 7 or Week 8, but here I go! Sorry if its a lot. Week 7 was Dallas week which is similar to the JEMS week schedule which means a whole extra day of session. It was a long and busy week, but really awesome.
Adrianna was back this week. She and along with Dustin were the campers that I felt like God placed in my life specifically to be their camp counselor last summer. I requested 3rd/4th in hopes of having this little diva in my group again. But it seemed that God had different plans for me. As soon as my boss said I had 1st and 2nd grade, the look on my face said it all. I did NOT want to have 1st and 2nd grade again. I have spent more time with this grade group out of any other one this summer and I just wanted to have older kids because it takes an extra amount of energy to work with them.
However, my heart began to soften for these little guys. My group was awesome and I loved them dearly. Out of all the scavenger hunts I've done, this week topped them all! It was crazy good for lots of reasons...mostly because Frizz got abducted by my friend Shane because he pretended to mistake her for a mermaid (loooooong story). It was hilarious.
By the end of the week, I was exhausted. The highlight of that week was the campfire that Dallas does. All the adults and youth (Day Campers included), share about how God had worked in their lives that week. I was shocked when mostly younger people spoke. There were only 3 adults who spoke and the rest were kids! It was so awesome. The most precious moment to me was when one of the girls from my small group fell asleep in my arms while all this sharing was going on. Afterwards, we sang a bunch of worship songs. My heart was so filled with love and joy in that moment. There's something precious about a child falling asleep in your arms. The peace and innocence is so sweet. I held Sara and sang songs to the Lord that night. So thankful and so blessed that I was there.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
BIG
Week 6 is done and I can't help but feel sad about it. I had the BEST group of 5th and 6th graders!
Going into the week, I was so nervous. My boss had told us that this week was going to be huge. Almost as big as JEMS week without 6 extra counselors from Redwood helping us out. She also told me that Otter and I were going to be the only 5th and 6th grade girl counselors that week. Which meant 32 girls and our Bible studies would consist of 16 girls we'd be responsible for. Pressurrrrrrrrre!!!
When I got the girls who were going to be in my group, I was so nervous. Of course I wanted them to like me. I felt that my first Bible Study was terrible because I was so nervous talking to these girls. I was also stressed out because I had 2 girls who were deathly allergic to peanuts as well as other things and they needed me to carry around their epi pen and stuff. I also wanted each and every single girl to feel connected. I struggled with names on the first day which I HATE because I believe there is so much in a name and its super important to address your campers by name so that they feel like they are known and loved.
Monday night we had Treasure Hunt which means we run all over Conference Center looking for clues to a treasure. Unfortunately, within the first 5 minutes, one of my girl's fell and busted open her knee. I had to send Otter with her back to Day Camp and I was left alone to lead 31 girls on this treasure hunt. Not to mention we had forgotten our walkie talkie...and we had about 4 girls who were extra slow due to injuries. One of our clues also got stuck behind a sign on a brick wall and I had to improvise by taking out tweezers from our med pack and getting it. I thought we wouldn't finish on time, but we did! I made it back on time for Theme Skit as well where I played a character that I made up called 'Raptor Randall'...its a long story...I'll save that for another time.
The next day, Otter and I were feeling really down and overwhelmed...thinking that we weren't connecting to our girls. Spike (one of our team leaders/close friends) pulled us aside and specifically prayed for our group of girls. It meant so much to me and I felt so much better after he did that.
That day, our Bible Studies went extremely well and I felt like I had connected with most of my girls.
God was so good this week. I literally felt that once I surrendered to Him, He literally just took over my words and actions and carried me through this last week. I had the best Bible Studies this week. Even though most of the time I felt like I was preaching to these girls, they were quite responsive to everything I felt the Lord was saying to them. I didn't have to worry.
Luminaria this week went so well too. I got the chance to share with the 5th and 6th graders how camp had affected my life growing up. My girls later told me that what I had to say was inspirational. Glory to God. I can't take that credit. One thing that we asked for the 5th and 6th graders was to think about how they had changed and how God had worked in their lives that week. We asked for them to write down something on a piece of paper that they would like to surrender to God and then we'd throw it in the fire. It was really cool to see all these young people respond. SO cool.
The last day was really hard. I did not want to say goodbye to these kids that had touched my heart. I took my girls to the Fountain for some ice cream and we also got to paint their nails. They loved it! I had one of my girls Madeline tell me that I was the best camp counselor she's ever had. She also said that not only that but I was an awesome person in general and that she looked up to me. Obviously, credit goes to God....I could not have done this without Him.
The Holy Spirit really guided myself as well as my girls this week. Its a cool feeling to know that God used you in a way to help bring others closer to Him. I want to remain humble knowing that it is not me, but this all comes from Jesus who gives me strength.
I have been blessed so much this last week. I am really going to miss these campers of Week 6.
Week 7...its Dallas Week! What's going to go down this week??
Going into the week, I was so nervous. My boss had told us that this week was going to be huge. Almost as big as JEMS week without 6 extra counselors from Redwood helping us out. She also told me that Otter and I were going to be the only 5th and 6th grade girl counselors that week. Which meant 32 girls and our Bible studies would consist of 16 girls we'd be responsible for. Pressurrrrrrrrre!!!
Monday night we had Treasure Hunt which means we run all over Conference Center looking for clues to a treasure. Unfortunately, within the first 5 minutes, one of my girl's fell and busted open her knee. I had to send Otter with her back to Day Camp and I was left alone to lead 31 girls on this treasure hunt. Not to mention we had forgotten our walkie talkie...and we had about 4 girls who were extra slow due to injuries. One of our clues also got stuck behind a sign on a brick wall and I had to improvise by taking out tweezers from our med pack and getting it. I thought we wouldn't finish on time, but we did! I made it back on time for Theme Skit as well where I played a character that I made up called 'Raptor Randall'...its a long story...I'll save that for another time.
That day, our Bible Studies went extremely well and I felt like I had connected with most of my girls.
God was so good this week. I literally felt that once I surrendered to Him, He literally just took over my words and actions and carried me through this last week. I had the best Bible Studies this week. Even though most of the time I felt like I was preaching to these girls, they were quite responsive to everything I felt the Lord was saying to them. I didn't have to worry.
Luminaria this week went so well too. I got the chance to share with the 5th and 6th graders how camp had affected my life growing up. My girls later told me that what I had to say was inspirational. Glory to God. I can't take that credit. One thing that we asked for the 5th and 6th graders was to think about how they had changed and how God had worked in their lives that week. We asked for them to write down something on a piece of paper that they would like to surrender to God and then we'd throw it in the fire. It was really cool to see all these young people respond. SO cool.
The last day was really hard. I did not want to say goodbye to these kids that had touched my heart. I took my girls to the Fountain for some ice cream and we also got to paint their nails. They loved it! I had one of my girls Madeline tell me that I was the best camp counselor she's ever had. She also said that not only that but I was an awesome person in general and that she looked up to me. Obviously, credit goes to God....I could not have done this without Him.
The Holy Spirit really guided myself as well as my girls this week. Its a cool feeling to know that God used you in a way to help bring others closer to Him. I want to remain humble knowing that it is not me, but this all comes from Jesus who gives me strength.
I have been blessed so much this last week. I am really going to miss these campers of Week 6.
Week 7...its Dallas Week! What's going to go down this week??
Friday, July 20, 2012
Taking Heart
(This blog may or may not make sense)
This week has definitely taken its toll on me. But never fear! God is near! (Heehee)...
I've had an amazing group of 1st/2nd graders. They are so cute! But...I definitely need to be with older kids next week.
I felt myself begin to emotionally check out this week. Things that I had been putting off in my heart have been surfacing. I just didn't have the time to think about stuff. When I finally did have the time, it all came at me on my day off. I have been wrestling with letting stuff go this summer. To trust that God has everything under His control. To see what He wants me to pull away from this summer. I'm still trying to figure that out. I have noticed I've been gaining my confidence back, but...what else is there? Why did all this come at me THIS week? I have baggage, yes. But...God says to come to Him when we are weary and we will find rest for our souls. Where do I begin?
Here's how I feel. I feel like I am 7 years old again. When my parents made me clean my room on a Saturday. No one wants to do that on a Saturday! There's cartoons on TV! Friends are waiting! Good times are to be had! But no...my room was a nightmare and I had a lot of sorting to do. My sheets were all over the place, my Barbies were lying on the floor with little shoes scattered about them and my Beanie Baby tub had exploded. Where the HECK do I begin to clean up this mess? I guess...I always used to start with the little stuff. I guess that's where I begin now. To clean up the little things. To work through it with baby steps. To not get frustrated with myself because healing takes a while. Especially when it comes to the heart. My concern and worries lie with no one. I'm trying to see what God wants from this. What God intends for me to become after this fiasco. Who I am meant to be and how I can become a stronger person through this.
Its already been such an amazing journey. God has been so good. Like...real good....like a coke on the beach on a hot day kinda good...!
God's love is constant. His love never fails, never gives up and does not run dry. I wanna soak in it. I wanna soak up His love like a sponge. I want to let go. I want to move on with my life. I gotta let go! I want to let go! Why do I fear? I've got Jesus. He's all I need.
Time to take this to heart.
"Take Heart...I have overcome the world!"
This week has definitely taken its toll on me. But never fear! God is near! (Heehee)...
I've had an amazing group of 1st/2nd graders. They are so cute! But...I definitely need to be with older kids next week.
I felt myself begin to emotionally check out this week. Things that I had been putting off in my heart have been surfacing. I just didn't have the time to think about stuff. When I finally did have the time, it all came at me on my day off. I have been wrestling with letting stuff go this summer. To trust that God has everything under His control. To see what He wants me to pull away from this summer. I'm still trying to figure that out. I have noticed I've been gaining my confidence back, but...what else is there? Why did all this come at me THIS week? I have baggage, yes. But...God says to come to Him when we are weary and we will find rest for our souls. Where do I begin?
Here's how I feel. I feel like I am 7 years old again. When my parents made me clean my room on a Saturday. No one wants to do that on a Saturday! There's cartoons on TV! Friends are waiting! Good times are to be had! But no...my room was a nightmare and I had a lot of sorting to do. My sheets were all over the place, my Barbies were lying on the floor with little shoes scattered about them and my Beanie Baby tub had exploded. Where the HECK do I begin to clean up this mess? I guess...I always used to start with the little stuff. I guess that's where I begin now. To clean up the little things. To work through it with baby steps. To not get frustrated with myself because healing takes a while. Especially when it comes to the heart. My concern and worries lie with no one. I'm trying to see what God wants from this. What God intends for me to become after this fiasco. Who I am meant to be and how I can become a stronger person through this.
Its already been such an amazing journey. God has been so good. Like...real good....like a coke on the beach on a hot day kinda good...!
God's love is constant. His love never fails, never gives up and does not run dry. I wanna soak in it. I wanna soak up His love like a sponge. I want to let go. I want to move on with my life. I gotta let go! I want to let go! Why do I fear? I've got Jesus. He's all I need.
Time to take this to heart.
"Take Heart...I have overcome the world!"
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Wild Childs of Week 4
I am currently on Week 5, but I have yet to talk about the craziness of Week 4.
First off, it was a hard week all around. I was finally over my week cold, but the kids this last week were REALLY difficult. It was a week where broken families came in and it definitely reflected through the behavior of some of the children. It was sad, but then that gave me the courage to love them even more. One of my favorite campers was here this last week! His name is Dustin and I just love him cause he's so great. He's had a rough year, but with Twizzler being his counselor for the week, I wasn't worried at all. He even came in during our cleaning time after session and asked if he could take a picture with me and Twizzler (I wasn't even in his grade group). I felt so special.
I had 1st/2nd grade during week 4 and it was crazy. My small group was wonderful (pictured right; aren't they cute?!), but it was the other kids in my grade group that did NOT respond to authority no matter how many times you threatened to take away their privileges. And Heidi (my boss/the principal of day camp) was gone. They didn't be quiet when they were told and they would attack the characters on theme skit while they were trying to act. It was hard. Not to mention we had a lot of runners. That means me and my other friends/fellow counselors book it full speed at our children with Barbie arms because there are children running away or in the street not caring that a car is coming at them. I've had to bear hug a lot of children to prevent them from running away. One kid really tested my patience. He would just look at me and smile when I would count to 3 to try to make him listen and obey...Ohhhhhhh how I wanted to give him a piece of my mind when he would smile at me to test me.
However, although the week was rough, I had an amazing conversation with a man in the dining hall. He told me his testimony and after I listened to him, I left that conversation thinking, "Oh my gosh...I literally just spoke to Jesus just now!" It was so cool to see God so at work in that man's life. No wonder people gathered around Jesus when He would preach! What he said was so profound that people couldn't help but tell others. Thats how I felt! I had to tell people! So I did...the first person I found was Fender and of course I had to tell him about what I heard.
Besides the week being crazy, I did not have any lows. God is good.
First off, it was a hard week all around. I was finally over my week cold, but the kids this last week were REALLY difficult. It was a week where broken families came in and it definitely reflected through the behavior of some of the children. It was sad, but then that gave me the courage to love them even more. One of my favorite campers was here this last week! His name is Dustin and I just love him cause he's so great. He's had a rough year, but with Twizzler being his counselor for the week, I wasn't worried at all. He even came in during our cleaning time after session and asked if he could take a picture with me and Twizzler (I wasn't even in his grade group). I felt so special.
I had 1st/2nd grade during week 4 and it was crazy. My small group was wonderful (pictured right; aren't they cute?!), but it was the other kids in my grade group that did NOT respond to authority no matter how many times you threatened to take away their privileges. And Heidi (my boss/the principal of day camp) was gone. They didn't be quiet when they were told and they would attack the characters on theme skit while they were trying to act. It was hard. Not to mention we had a lot of runners. That means me and my other friends/fellow counselors book it full speed at our children with Barbie arms because there are children running away or in the street not caring that a car is coming at them. I've had to bear hug a lot of children to prevent them from running away. One kid really tested my patience. He would just look at me and smile when I would count to 3 to try to make him listen and obey...Ohhhhhhh how I wanted to give him a piece of my mind when he would smile at me to test me.However, although the week was rough, I had an amazing conversation with a man in the dining hall. He told me his testimony and after I listened to him, I left that conversation thinking, "Oh my gosh...I literally just spoke to Jesus just now!" It was so cool to see God so at work in that man's life. No wonder people gathered around Jesus when He would preach! What he said was so profound that people couldn't help but tell others. Thats how I felt! I had to tell people! So I did...the first person I found was Fender and of course I had to tell him about what I heard.
Besides the week being crazy, I did not have any lows. God is good.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
"It's Kinda Like Canoeing in the Dark..."
Hello, my dear friends, family and Facebook/Blog stalkers!
I have just completed JEMS week. Its one of the best and hardest weeks up here at camp. Basically, Mt. Hermon has the Japanese Evangelical Missions Society here and we've been hosting them for 63 years. Along with this, a TON of kids come into Day Camp. This week I had 5th and 6th grade girls.
I had a feeling that this week was going to be big. I couldn't really explain it, but I figured God was gonna do something big. With that feeling, I had no idea that I was about to face one of my toughest weeks so far. We don't get Wednesday off and we have an extra session on Sunday night. To top it off...I was really sick. I sensed some spiritual warfare going on. Satan was gonna do anything he could to slow me down and to make me weak, but lemme tell you something. My God is strong and He made a way.
Despite the sickness, I had some of the best Bible studies this week. My girls listened, asked questions and opened up to me about life. I forgot that a lot of elementary kids face bullying and friend group issues. My heart went out to these kids who were affected by bullying. I felt that teaching them about the Holy Spirit this week was SO important. I could tell they took to heart what Jesus was telling them through me. There were times when I was just so sick, I felt like I couldn't even make it through Bible study. But I literally didn't have to do anything. The Spirit just connected my heart to my mouth and I was amazed at the things pouring out of it. Glory to God.
There was one night where I broke down before session. The thought of going through that evening scared me because I could not get rid of the sense of fatigue that hung over me. I pulled Sassy aside, vented and just let her hold me as I cried. She prayed for me...and that helped SO much. Then my boss, Heidi, pulled me into her office and helped me snap out of the state I was in through prayer and encouraging words. She gave me a moment to compose myself and to approach God with my needs. And He answered right away with this verse:
Psalm 118:13-14, "I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the LORD helped me. The LORD is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation."
I wrote this verse immediately on my hand and just stared at it. Those words (along with some medicine) gave me the boost I needed to finish that night well. And it went SO well. We had Luminaria that night. Its a new more mature form of worship we do with the 5th and 6th graders. Some don't understand, yet some do. And that night, my girls became closer to Jesus and we became closer to each other. My girls were so responsive when we did the affirmation candle. Basically, I would ask a girl to hold the candle we had and the other girls in the group would say what they noticed about her this week and why they loved her. It was wonderful. Then at the end, I was about to put away the candle, but my girls stopped me saying that they wanted to affirm me too! What they said was so encouraging and made me so glad that God had gotten rid of that cloud of fatigue over me.
Not only do I have God to thank, but also my friends here. I have such a WONDERFUL community up here. Everyone just walked alongside me, offered me encouragement, loved me, prayed for me and showed compassion. I could not have gotten through this week without their love and care. I am so thankful and so incredibly lucky.
Last night, I went night canoeing with Fender, Katniss, Crash, Twizzler and Luke. It was so beautiful boating underneath the stars. I couldn't help but think how beautiful this last week was and how us canoeing in the dark was very much like my week. I was struck with a cold that fogged up my mind and blocked my energy, but once I trusted Him, He maneuvered me through the week. And once I snapped out of it, I saw the beauty in the fog. Its like canoeing in the dark. I was scared to get in that boat, but I had to trust my friends to row. But once I relaxed, trusted and looked around, the darkness soon became easier to see in. I was in awe with how beautiful night time can be. Sometimes you gotta see the beauty within the storm. To notice what God is doing and saying. Once you hear Him, take hold of it, don't let go and just go for it. He gives you that extra boost you need. Just ask and have faith that He'll pull through FOR you!
Now, I go into Week 4. What's going to happen this week? Hereeeee weeee gooooo WEEK 4!!!
I have just completed JEMS week. Its one of the best and hardest weeks up here at camp. Basically, Mt. Hermon has the Japanese Evangelical Missions Society here and we've been hosting them for 63 years. Along with this, a TON of kids come into Day Camp. This week I had 5th and 6th grade girls.
I had a feeling that this week was going to be big. I couldn't really explain it, but I figured God was gonna do something big. With that feeling, I had no idea that I was about to face one of my toughest weeks so far. We don't get Wednesday off and we have an extra session on Sunday night. To top it off...I was really sick. I sensed some spiritual warfare going on. Satan was gonna do anything he could to slow me down and to make me weak, but lemme tell you something. My God is strong and He made a way.
There was one night where I broke down before session. The thought of going through that evening scared me because I could not get rid of the sense of fatigue that hung over me. I pulled Sassy aside, vented and just let her hold me as I cried. She prayed for me...and that helped SO much. Then my boss, Heidi, pulled me into her office and helped me snap out of the state I was in through prayer and encouraging words. She gave me a moment to compose myself and to approach God with my needs. And He answered right away with this verse:
Psalm 118:13-14, "I was pushed hard, so that I was falling, but the LORD helped me. The LORD is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation."
I wrote this verse immediately on my hand and just stared at it. Those words (along with some medicine) gave me the boost I needed to finish that night well. And it went SO well. We had Luminaria that night. Its a new more mature form of worship we do with the 5th and 6th graders. Some don't understand, yet some do. And that night, my girls became closer to Jesus and we became closer to each other. My girls were so responsive when we did the affirmation candle. Basically, I would ask a girl to hold the candle we had and the other girls in the group would say what they noticed about her this week and why they loved her. It was wonderful. Then at the end, I was about to put away the candle, but my girls stopped me saying that they wanted to affirm me too! What they said was so encouraging and made me so glad that God had gotten rid of that cloud of fatigue over me.
Not only do I have God to thank, but also my friends here. I have such a WONDERFUL community up here. Everyone just walked alongside me, offered me encouragement, loved me, prayed for me and showed compassion. I could not have gotten through this week without their love and care. I am so thankful and so incredibly lucky.Last night, I went night canoeing with Fender, Katniss, Crash, Twizzler and Luke. It was so beautiful boating underneath the stars. I couldn't help but think how beautiful this last week was and how us canoeing in the dark was very much like my week. I was struck with a cold that fogged up my mind and blocked my energy, but once I trusted Him, He maneuvered me through the week. And once I snapped out of it, I saw the beauty in the fog. Its like canoeing in the dark. I was scared to get in that boat, but I had to trust my friends to row. But once I relaxed, trusted and looked around, the darkness soon became easier to see in. I was in awe with how beautiful night time can be. Sometimes you gotta see the beauty within the storm. To notice what God is doing and saying. Once you hear Him, take hold of it, don't let go and just go for it. He gives you that extra boost you need. Just ask and have faith that He'll pull through FOR you!
Now, I go into Week 4. What's going to happen this week? Hereeeee weeee gooooo WEEK 4!!!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Big Sur and a Big God
I am currently on my 3rd week (JEMS week) here at the Herm, but I have to catch up on what went down last week.Week 2 was wonderful, of course. I had 1st and 2nd grade with a small group of 5 girls: Bella, Ella, Katia, Ava and Anya. Although my patience was tested many a times, these girls were some of the sweetest little girls I have ever had. The week ended in a big group hug, a couple of missing teeth grins ( I run into that at the elderly home, but these kind are kinda WAY cuter) and a dozen or so "come back next summer, Kricket"s. I love 1st and 2nd!
As for me, I want to continue to build my house on the foundation that is Christ until I am reunited with Him. I cannot wait to stare upon God's glory as it reflects off of eternity's shores. For now, the beauty of Big Sur gives me a hope that more beautiful things are to come.
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